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| Thank
Goodness for Chocolate! |
| Have you heard?
Chocolate has now been named a health food! This good news certainly
helps redeem calorie-packed gifts that accompany the celebration of
Valentine's Day. That is, for those who get such gifts, for I also
know that Valentine's Day promotes much despair. Many wait vainly
for someone to send some token of undying love. Happiness rides on
the token—it represents the state of being loved. |
| I hear this phrase,
"I need someone to make me feel loved" as some of the saddest
words in the English language. Yet this sentiment represents a deep
human longing to be loved and cherished. But we set ourselves up for
failure. How? Because the feeling of being loved becomes dependent
upon the words and actions of others. |
| I know I get
looks of confusion when I seek to explain this. Why should this be
so bad? Why shouldn't we be dependent upon another to feel loved and
cherished? |
| Certainly, we
are created to love and to be loved, to know others and to be known
by others. The problem comes when we base our worth on whether some
other person is showing that love in the way we think we need it shown.
At worst, we manipulate others to give us what we think we need to
"feel loved" and never realize what a drain we become in
the process. I call people who do this "black hole" folks.
Frankly, I think all of us fit in that black hole category periodically.
I know I do. And when I am, no amount of love is enough. The black
hole never fills up. It can’t. It can only swallow and destroy. |
| To escape it,
I must recognize that I am loved by God and worthy in the eyes of
God to receive that love. The best way to do that? Seek to love others
with freedom and joy, considering their happiness more important than
our own. |
| This is counter
to the way the world around us works. Movies, books, TV, advertisements,
friends, all say, "figure out a way to trap, trick or manipulate
people into loving you the way you want. Never mind that you yourself
hate to be trapped or tricked. Only ask, are YOU getting what YOU
want? Don't you deserve that kind of happiness?" |
| How different
this is from a world of God-love. God-love says, "You may not
respond to My love the way I want you to; you may not love Me in return.
But I will love nevertheless. I will offer you the fullness of life,
both present and eternal. Receive this, and go forth knowing you are
loved. Don't receive it, and I will still love." |
| When we can learn
to give love this way, we will become so radiantly loving that others
will flock near. We'll no longer need them to act or behave or give
in a certain way to know we are loved, but we will be free to receive
what they do give. That's happiness. And that's real love. |
| It's even better
than chocolate! |
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